Thursday, September 15, 2011

When it gets harder...

I was so looking forward this week to announcing the good news that we were expecting number 7. I found out two weeks ago and had my OB appt set for Sept. 12. I was a little nervous but all in all I had a good feeling about this baby.
On Sept. 11 at 4:00a.m. I woke up in horrible pain. As we got ready to go to the ER I begged God to let me keep my baby. All the way to the hospital I just prayed and prayed that my baby would be ok.
Around 9 a.m. we knew that would not be. I had an ectopic pregnancy. I was in surgery in just a few hours and came out two and a half hours later with one less fallopian tube and no baby. I ended up with severe nausea and trouble breathing so I spent the night at the hospital.
This past week has been one of recovery and healing. At one point the other day I thought, "Just when I thought life could not get any harder, it did."
I don't know why God has set this as my path right now. I've had some talks with Him about the whole thing. I am holding on to my faith as hard as I can. My Bible remains closed for right now, but God and I are still talking. I'm recalling verses that I've memorized and I'm thankful for those.
I have encouraging words from friends and those mean a lot to me. I like to process things in silence so I have not talked about it a whole lot yet. I probably won't for a little while. It's just how I deal with stuff. I'll be ok. I'll be back in my Bible soon. I know this is all just part of the battle we fight and I won't let the devil have any victory.
Your prayers are appreciated.

8 comments:

Jeremiah and Stephenie said...

Praying for you!

*Michigan Momma* said...

Praying.

I don't don't have great words of encouragement, but having recently lost a baby early in the pregnancy (about 10 or 11 weeks), my heart is aching for you, my friend.

Hold close to God, He is there.
Love you~

Rebecca said...

So sorry for your difficult loss!! Praying that God will be your comfort!

Number One Elm Lane said...

Oh my Sister - I am so terribly sorry! No words I can extend will be comforting! My prayers are being sent up for you and your family's loss! Blessings!

His bondservant said...

Please know that my heart is with you. I have lost four babies to miscarriage and it is not an easy thing. There is a line in a song I love so much…it says, when you can't see His hand, trust His heart. So many times we are called to do this. We cannot see from a Heavenly perspective all the time, but we trust our Saviour to always work even the hardest things out for our good. Thinking of you especially at this time.

Trusting in Him,
Jackie

Michele@A Quiet Gracious Life said...

Oh Julie, I'm *so very* sorry.......

Tami said...

i just found your blog today so i am new to your writing but i wanted to say how sorry i am. i also had a tubal pregnancy years ago.
i am so sorry.

Mooberry Farmwife said...

I am so sorry for your loss, and I understand.... in fact, I am in awe that the Lord brought me to your blog this evening. I just posted about my ectopic pregnancy on my blog today (it happened many years ago)! I truly hope you are doing well and finding peace. God bless you.