I've been a little busy...

Here he is in all of his beautiful chunkiness. Gideon Nathaniel. He was born May 28th around 6:45p.m. weighing a whopping  9lbs 6oz. He flipped around right after my last blog post and I thought we were good to go until the next growth scan when he started measuring big. In the end I did end up with a c-section, but it was all good as I had a lot of peace about it. 

He's an eater. Usually when I sit down at the computer he starts that, "Hey I'm hungry cry!" Like right now. LOL Seriously, I'm typing that sentence and there it is  - The Cry. :) Enjoy these pictures of my little chunk of joy while I go feed him... again! The good news though is that while he eats constantly during the day he is only up once or maybe twice a night. I'm loving the extra sleep. I hope ya'll are doing well. 

 

We have a very breech baby at 36w and 4d. Mommy is not a happy camper. I started going to the chiropractor today to see if we can get this little person to turn. I have been camped at the Spinning Babies website and on Youtube for the past week. It means I've been caught is some weird positions. I'm so thankful for all the resources that are out there to help you turn your baby.
You know what else I'm thankful for? C-section stories. Positive, uplifting, encouraging c-section stories. My browser has been locked onto them as well. I now have a back up list of questions to ask my OB, things to take to the hospital, and ideas on recovery. It took me a week to be able to Google anything about C-sections without crying.
I've heard this over and over again and no matter how reassuring people try to sound it's not really working: Well, all that matters is a healthy baby.
Um, duh! Yes, that's what matters to me, but you know what also matters? The birth experience. Am I ready to adjust my expectations? Truly. Am I ok with a c-section if he does not turn around? Yes, or I'm getting there slowly. Does it mean that I don't get to grieve the feeling of pushing out my baby and having them plop him down, having our eyes meet for the first time, me reaching out with no encumbrances to touch him to pull him to me? Does it mean I have to give up the memories I have of having Lily, getting out of bed right away with minimal pain and taking care of my baby? NO! I get to grieve the loss of all of that. I get to grieve the new direction my birth experience seems to be going in. I am so thankful that people are working to find the right words to say and ya know what, if all you've got is, "All that matters is a healthy baby!" I will smile at you, nod my head, and graciously accept your encouragement- on the outside. On the inside my heart will break a little bit. I won't hold it against you. I know what you mean when you say that. I know you care about me and my little boy. I know you just don't understand how much it hurts.
I've struggled with feelings of guilt. I've faced infertility. Nine years of infertility. I've faced the hurt of miscarriages. I've lost a baby and a fallopian tube at the same time and it was traumatic. Shouldn't I just be thankful I'm about to have a healthy little boy to love on? Should I be worried about how he gets here? I've decided that it's ok for me to be sad about not having the birth experience I want. I still want my baby here, heathy, and whole. If it means they have to pull him out of me via c-section it's ok. I'm still going to cry though. I'm going to be sad. It'll last a little while, but then one day I'll be ok. I'll look into my son's eyes and know that however he got here I'm just grateful he's here.
So that's what is going on with me and baby number 7. He should be here in just a few more weeks. I'll let you know just how he gets here. ;)

Fitting them all in...

This is the closet system I made up for Lily and Gideon. Our house is a bit crowded at the moment and I don't have a room to move Lily into so for now she is staying put in our room. Gideon will be nursing exclusively so he needs to be in our room as well. I found the bookshelves with the tension rods idea on Pinterest and then my vision expanded to the cubbies. I really think it's going to work out. I need to organize it a little better, but you can get the general idea here.
I'm 35w pregnant right now and have much to do to finish this room. I can't believe how close we are getting to the actual day I will be holding my little warrior. I keep praying that God will make me into a better mom. I've seen Him work so much in me just in the last 7-9 years of being a mom. We just celebrated our 7th adoption day! I look back on the overwhelmed, inpatient mommy I was then and am thankful that while still overwhelmed and sometimes inpatient, I have learned to delight in my children. When I find myself not being a joyful mother of children I try to remedy it by going to God and asking him to make me joyful, loving, and kind. To make me delight in my children. Usually not long after that I will find myself just thrilled to be sitting in the same room with them and talking. To laugh at their jokes and antics. To connect with them. God always answers this prayer for me and I'm so thankful.

Loving the Spring

Not really doing that great on my blogging, huh? I actually just got back into reading some homemaker blogs this past week and I've been so inspired. Now being 34w pregnant I have not been able to really get out there and do all the stuff I want to around the house, but it's been nice to at least have the desire back. :) We are enjoying some beautiful spring weather here. Usually by now it's hot, hot, hot around these parts, but lately it's been breezy and beautiful. I'm hoping it holds out for another month at least! We were able to get a van recently that our whole family will fit in, plus room for a few more... ;) Our first trip was a picnic to the beach. We are going to a "theme" park a couple of hours away next week for our end of the year field trip with our homeschool group. That will be the first BIG trip (and last for a few months!) Our son, Gideon Nathaniel will be joining us in about 4 - 5 weeks and everyone is excited. Especially mommy. I am very tired and in pain a lot of the time right now. I joked with my husband this morning that last minute school work catch up and growing a person are really getting in the way of my nesting! It's ok though, it will all come together. 

 This is the Spring Family Basket I set up for the kids. We don't do a big Easter here, with baskets, bunnies and such, but it's nice to be able to give them a little something. Oh, and we do hunt plastic eggs because I think it's cute, not because some fictitious bunny dropped them off. :) In the basket I put some new art supplies, some stuff from the dollar spot at our local craft store, a thing of copy paper because they always steal mine, a package of candy, scripture cds, a couple of books, and a hymnal. I don't have the rest of the picture, but they also each got one chocolate bunny and their own hymnals. Now everyone in the family has one, plus a few extras for when our family expands one day.

This is a picture of Jonathan and Lily on Resurrection Sunday and one of my spring landscaping projects. Hobby Lobby had those whirly gigs for 50% off back in March so I snatched them up for decoration for my 13yos garden tea party. :) The rest of my kids had run in the house to change before I could snatch them for spring pictures. I love this one though. To me it looks a little vintage or like a postcard. Whatever it is, my babies are beautiful! :)

Hope you are enjoying a lovely spring as well!

When it gets harder...

I was so looking forward this week to announcing the good news that we were expecting number 7. I found out two weeks ago and had my OB appt set for Sept. 12. I was a little nervous but all in all I had a good feeling about this baby.

On Sept. 11 at 4:00a.m. I woke up in horrible pain. As we got ready to go to the ER I begged God to let me keep my baby. All the way to the hospital I just prayed and prayed that my baby would be ok.

Around 9 a.m. we knew that would not be. I had an ectopic pregnancy. I was in surgery in just a few hours and came out two and a half hours later with one less fallopian tube and no baby. I ended up with severe nausea and trouble breathing so I spent the night at the hospital.

This past week has been one of recovery and healing. At one point the other day I thought, "Just when I thought life could not get any harder, it did."

I don't know why God has set this as my path right now. I've had some talks with Him about the whole thing. I am holding on to my faith as hard as I can. My Bible remains closed for right now, but God and I are still talking. I'm recalling verses that I've memorized and I'm thankful for those.

I have encouraging words from friends and those mean a lot to me. I like to process things in silence so I have not talked about it a whole lot yet. I probably won't for a little while. It's just how I deal with stuff. I'll be ok. I'll be back in my Bible soon. I know this is all just part of the battle we fight and I won't let the devil have any victory.

Your prayers are appreciated.

A Mother's Prayer

The history of John Newton is often mentioned as a proof of the deep and lasting impression which a mother may produce upon the mind of her child. He had a pious mother. She often retired to her closet, and placing her hand upon his youthful head, implored God's blessing upon her boy. These prayers and instructions sunk deep into his heart. He could not but revere that mother. He could not but feel that there was a holiness in such a character, demanding reverence and love. He could not tear from his heart, in after life, the impressions then produced. Though he became a wicked wanderer, though he forsook friends and home, and every virtue; the remembrance of a mother's prayers, like a guardian angel, followed him wherever he went. He mingled in the most evil and disgraceful scenes of a sailor's life, and while surrounded with guilty associates, in midnight revelry, he would fancy he felt the soft hand of his mother upon his head, pleading with God to forgive and bless her boy. He went to the coast of Africa, and became even more degraded than the savages upon her dreary shores. But the soft hand of his mother was still upon his head, and the fervent prayers of his mother still thrilled in his heart. And this influence, after the lapse of many guilty years, brought back the prodigal, a penitent and a child of God; elevated him to be one of the brightest ornaments of the Christian church, and to guide many sons and daughters to glory. What a forcible comment is this upon the power of maternal influence! And what encouragement does this present to every mother to be faithful in her efforts to train up her child for God! Had Mrs. Newton neglected her duty, had she even been as remiss as many Christian mothers, her son, to all human view, might have continued in sin, and been an outcast from heaven. It was through the influence of the mother that the son was saved. Newton became afterward a most successful preacher of the Gospel, and every soul which he was instrumental in saving, as he sings the song of redeeming mercy, will, through eternity, bless God that Newton had such a mother.

THE CHRISTIAN MOTHER

by John Abbott, 1833, Worcester, Mass.
Published by the American Tract Society

As I look upon my children I often wonder who they will grow up to be. I pray fervently for their hearts and souls. I pray that not only will they know the saving power of Jesus Christ in their live, but that they will live their lives wholly devoted to Him. I don't want my kids to think of salvation as fire insurance. We spend time in the morning pouring over God's word together. We spend time during our group time studying Who Is God? Last night we had a whole discussion about how our inward appearance can greatly affect our outward appearance. It's things like this that I hope will turn my children's hearts towards Jesus. No matter what though, I will always pray for my children, just as Mother Newton prayed for her dear John.

God is a God of mercy and grace. As my children grow I have seen times of doubt in some of their lives. I have seen one of my precious children question this God of the universe. It always sends me to my knees. I know I have to let this child grow up and make their own decisions. I know one day this child will go their own way. All I can do is give this child the tools and foundation to build their life on the ROCK. If they choose to move to sandy ground I will pray, pray, pray. I will never cease praying for my kids and I have told each one of them that.

Not too long ago, we had an incident where one of my children was battling a sin in their life. This child had hardened their heart and would not show repentance of this sin for any amount of begging and pleading. I finally looked said child in the eye and told them a mother's prayers never cease. I have seen some change in this child. While not the repentance I was hoping for I have to believe that they are working towards that just by the change in their attitude.

Cleaning my home and homeschooling are all important to me. Still, they come in dead last to my childrens' souls and relationship with our God. I would live in a messy house with ignorant children if it meant every one of my children could enjoy a lasting full relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm so thankful that I don't have to and that God has shown me that my childrens' hearts are receptive to the Word of God. I am thankful that I have time in my day to clean and homeschool and share Jesus with my children.

I just pray that my relationship with God is one that overflows into my home and my childrens' lives. Amen.

Leave it undone

O Lord, may I be directed what to do and what to
leave undone.
Elizabeth Fry

Something I TRULY need to pray every day. How quickly the days seem to be going. As my lazy summer winds down I am faced with a busy year ahead. I'm going to write this down and put it on my calendar.

Reading around the house

It's Homemaking Link Up Day at Raising Homemakers. Come and join the fun! Also be sure to check out the book The Family Daughter by 16yo Sarah Bryant listed in the blog post for the day at Raising Homemakers. I am looking forward to getting a copy for my girls.

I love to see my kids getting along, a bonus is the reading. :) When we go to the library we come home with two to three milk crates full of books. Each of the kids get the amount of books respectable to their ages. We start in the picture book section/fiction section and then move over to the non fiction section. Two books from the picture book section and the rest from the other section. I love seeing what they come up with especially in the non fiction section. I do take time to scan through books before they make it to the house. I believe that we as women are gatekeepers of our homes and one of our jobs is to keep up with what is coming in the gates.
I also make sure to check out board books for little lady. She actually does well with paper books, though she tore one the other day just trying to turn the page. She loves books and will ask you to read by signing book and saying, "buh."

Roy and I check out lots of books and let the kids see us reading all the time. They sit and read during in between times of the day. For example, after their rooms are tidied in the morning and they are waiting for breakfast to be ready they read. During our group school time if we are waiting for someone to finish something up they read. Sometimes if there is time right before dinner after our predinner clean up is done they read. During our 1-2 hour rest time every day they read.

The girls and I have talked about wanting to set up little reading nooks around the house, but right now that's not possible so everyone just finds a little corner to read in. My oldest likes to grab pillows and make herself a nest by our sliding glass back door. Jonathan loves the basket above or behind my recliner. The two other girls perch on the couch. Adrian lands wherever he sees an opening.

It's wonderful to see my kids reading to themselves and each other. It's one of my favorite parts of the day.

Betwixt and Between

Raising Homemakers is at it again with a great post and a give away.

They are advertising a mentoring program for moms of girls ages 9-13, the "betwixt and between" stage. They'll be going through the Beautiful Girlhood book starting September 12. I'm very excited about this as I have two girl who fall into this age group. My oldest could probably benefit from it as well. We are going to spend the month of August working through Raising Maidens of Virtue so in September we'll just pick up the Beautiful Girlhood book as our next selection!

So click on over and see what's up.

Take the time

Blogger is still acting zany, so I will let you know I am still here with a picture of my beautiful baby! I had more to share but blogger won't let me upload anymore today! :)
Oh, and here is a wonderful quote:
If you haven't time to respond to a tug at your pants leg, your schedule is too crowded. ~Robert Brault

Patience

Patience
Author - Unknown
Give me patience when little hands,
Tug at me with small demands,
Give me gentle words and smiling eyes
And keep my lips from sharp replies,
So in years to come when my house is still
Beautiful memories it's rooms may fill.

Have a blessed day with those little hands and small demands!